monday

ok, so its time for a not so complainy post. I'm slowly slowly letting out the secret, but very slowly. I'm bubbling over with excitement and a weird apprehension. I want to run screaming and tell EVERYONE, but I'm afraid to. I almost feel like I should be keeping a list. Hmm. My next appointment is the day before thanksgiving. I'll be 11 weeks. If all goes well, I think I'll tell everyone at work the next week. MAYBE. I still sort of like the secret part, just in case.

But either way, I'm really excited. I don't feel totally sick all the time, it just goes in waves when I don't eat enough. and hell, it feels mostly like a hangover, and I'm practiced at that.

according to one of the many many e-newsletters I get every day, I have 220 days to go in this pregnancy. We've graduated from blastocyst to embryo and we're now a fetus! I also found a mutual friend of one of my best friends is due 1 week before me. she's one of my favorite happy people. She hollered a famous line to me that helped me embrace my divorce : "You get a DO-over!! You get a DO-over!"

It worked. and as it turns out, 8 years later, I sure did get a do-over. Life is great. I went to a baby shower yesterday at a fancy house and didn't feel any twinge of "hey this house is fancier than mine" because...while my house needs tons of progress, I just plain like my life. I like my husband a whole whole lot. I like my job. I like myself. I'm ok. and I'm really excited to think about having a baby person to share in our lives. We're starting to talk about making decisions "for our family", and doing things "as a family." It's really exciting stuff.